happy new year’s eve! 2025 is almost over, which means it’s my favorite time of the year: introspection time! what have i done this year? what will I do next? all that jazz. 2025 was pretty good to me, but as with every year, it had its ups and downs. what year doesn’t? overall though, I really enjoyed myself this year.

First thing: the bad stuff! yay…and when i say yay, i mean “yay i’m no longer in pain”. Context: For about two years, I was in massive amounts of pain from all four wisdom teeth growing sideways. I couldn’t brush my teeth without dying, so that meant I had a bunch of cavities. Small ones, but cavities nonetheless. I somehow also broke one of my molars in summer of 2024 and somehow managed to live eight months with it cracked. actual living hell. I remember one night it was so bad I ended up spiraling in my room because the force of me spinning somehow numbed the pain for just a little while. That was my life for two years. In march 2025, I finally got all five teeth out of my head. I got prescribed generic brand vicodin, which was funny because house reference. It didn’t hurt besides from being kinda achy a couple hours after surgery. I only remember getting sedated and waking up an hour later in the car. very fun. I’m no longer in pain.

Now for the good stuff. The good stuff that happened is that a lot of firsts happened. I went to my first convention this year in may. A friend i met in my classes invited me to go with him and his friends to a con. I didn’t have on cosplay, but my friend was dressed as nagito komaeda. it was really awesome. I wanna go to another one next year.

another highlight was that I met a lot of really cool people, mostly from the same year-long class. Most of us met up after our class ended in late may to go to a zoo. there was about 10 of us there. after we walked around the zoo for four hours, we ate ramen together at a place down the road. i think that was one of the best moments i had this year. two weeks later, I went to the aforementioned friend’s birthday party, another highlight. he actually invited me months before hand, so i drew his birthday present ahead of time. he really liked it. he supports me and my art a lot so drawing that was just a symbol of my appreciation.

I know this doesn’t sound like a lot, but i wanna try more stuff and do more things. this has been a really fun year for me. i hope i can do more. I want to do as much as I can. Since I’m no longer in deep pain all the time, I don’t want to waste another second! that’s one resolution of many i have for 2026. I hope everyone’s resolutions go well! happy new year!

merry christmas and happy holidays to everyone! I hope the holiday season has treated y'all well. I am recovering from the nightmare that was fall semester. I managed to get As in 3/4 of my classes! don't ask about that last class... anyways, I'm enjoying the season by doing what i've mostly always done...

nothing at all!

Ok, well not nothing. I'm still watching House. It's actually good that I'm watching house now. Lots of christmas episodes....lots of em. as for actual plans though, I got nothing.

I have never properly celebrated before. my family isn't Christian and I'm not religious so I never had the christmas experience. the closest thing I've had was the activities I did back in elementary school. i lived all over as a kid, so I celebrated christmas in all sorts of ways.

I remember winter break fun at school peaked in 6-7th grade. It usually ended with me sick out of my mind and keeling over because I ate too much junk food or something. I'd go on the school bus with a bag of assorted garbage that I'd eat over the break. I also remember doing bean boozled during 7th grade. I remember I somehow got all of the good flavors in a row and the guy who gave it to me tried one for himself and he got the dog food flavor. 8 am! well done.

now as an adult, I realized why I like the holiday season a lot, even though I don't celebrate christmas. I just like spending time with people and having fun. I've met a lot of cool people this year and have done a lot of things with them. These things aren't really exciting like jumping off a plane or something...but does that even matter? I just like spending time with people. I like showing them that they mean something to me. I hope all my friends know that I cherish them through the mundane. I wish that next year, when Christmas time rolls by again, I can give them something more than my thanks.

merry christmas! I'll update again very soon!

hello again. i've been recently suffering with college work and stuff so the times where I'm not studying or doing stuff that's considered "productive", i've been bed rotting. it sucks because when I'm bed rotting, i normally don't do anything besides stay on my phone. i don't watch anything new so i get bored and tired with EVERYTHING. Like everything. So, I decided to watch something that I've been putting off for years. I've been watching House M.D.

When I was little, I really didn't like "real life" shows. I found any show with live actors to be...kinda lame? The only shows I'd be ok with watching were tween sitcoms, but even then they weren't my first choice in media. So, a show like house felt like it was out of the question, y'know? I watched a couple one off episodes when there was quite literally nothing else to watch. (For reference, I had analog TV for a lot of my childhood which meant no cable package channels. just public brodcast stuff.)

I think the reason why I didn't like House when I was little was because i found Hugh Laurie scary. I'm of the opinion that people with eyes that piercing need contacts but who knows. I also knew Hugh Laurie as that guy from monsters v. aliens and i got TWO mcdonalds toys of him when I was like six. Same eye issue dawg it was lowkey getting to me. I was so mad. I wanted bob. I had a subconscious grudge until i remembered like three years ago. you think those toys would be worth something to house fans? idk. I want yall to know that I'm grown up now. I can see the appeal.

I wanted to start watching house since 2022, but I kept putting it off. It was around the same time where I had giant "fuck you" levels of pain regarding my teeth. I only recently got surgury for it in march 2025 but before then, I could only watch a little bit of anything before I felt like someone shot me in the mouth. it's now december, so now I can watch with full relaxation.

I started watching at midnight on December 1st. I'm almost through with season 1. my semester ends around a week before christmas so I'll probably get through season 2 by then. I really like it so far. I'm mad that I didn't watch it sooner. I didn't know it was labeled as a black comedy until a couple years ago. it's really funny. most of this is because House just says and does weird bullshit. i'm mad that he's so funny. He's a weird and rude piece of shit but man is he funny.

Usually i don't really like misanthropes because they're either really nihilistic or...the joker. this isn't shade to the joker but you can tell when a misanthrope is written with "im da joker baeby" in mind and it gets real annoying. I like that house is a guy. he's a deeply flawed and strange guy, but he's also a guy who likes what humans do, y'know? he doesn't like people but he likes what people do and create. i like the scenes where he does things he enjoys. watching shitty hospital dramas, playing handheld games, listening to music at a inappropriate volume, it's really good. usually with misanthropes, their small joys (if they have any) are covered with a insincere presentation. again, this is more joker territory. House just says what he likes. People aren't on that list...more like...people by products. IDK if im making sense.

I really really really also like Wilson. He's probably my favorate. He's also a weird guy. I don't care if he puts on a nice doctor act, he' a weirdo. I know that house M.D is very loosely based on sherlock holmes and watson so it makes sense that House's watson would be also weird if he puts up with him, but like...wilson is a secret weirdo i just know it. I love it too. I'm still on season one and it's kinda insane that he mentions his wife two beats behind him going "man, that lady i'm seeing sure is nice...but it's strictly professional". DIVORCE YOUR WIFE. (Because I've been reletlessly spoiled, I know that he eventually becomes single, but still. Wilson is a dog.)

other than that though, I like that wilson is like very quipy with house while also being very concerned for his deterioration. again, only on season one, but it's nice that house sees wilson as his only true connection because they both really care for each other, but i know it's gonna be messy as hell. like, it's hard to see someone you care about spiral and then deny about it. it's also compounded with the fact that wilson is also a weird strange piece of shit in his own ways. I already explained that he's a bit of a dog. he's friends with house which...i mean, you either have to have a lot of patience or be very very sick in the head yourself so.

i need more wilson in my life. i like guys who are weird and strange under the hood. he's like those cars from the 50's that look fine for years despite being in 50 crashes but that's because it's so ridgid that everyone inside dies because the car didn't crumple in and take the brunt of the crash. if we're still going by car analogies, if wilson is a dense metal no crumple car, house is like a grade A level shitbox that runs on jet fuel for some reason.

other than house and wilson, i do like the rest of the diagnostic team so far. i know that's gonna change with some of the storylines i heard about but i'll keep it positive. the one i like the most so far is Cameron. she's very nice. Foreman is nice too, but you can tell this was written in the 2000s because half of the jokes are like that one house mouse bites copypasta where house just goes "you are a black man" because he is the most normal person in the diagonstic team. i say normal but then i watched an episode where he tries to shoo a rabid woman out of the hospital because she was homeless. normal in this show isn't normal in reality. the one im afraid of the most is Chase because he's the one diagnostic team member that i got spoiled on the most, which sucks because he is really nice so far.

speaking of not normal. i like that the hopsital they work at is fucking crazy. house would've been arrested for how many times he almost kills a patient every week. the DNR episode is fucking insane. like...i mean he was right because of course he was but like...bro the guy was tubed up and shaking like he was gonna get skinned. half of that episode was shot like a saw movie. he should've gotten thrown in jail. is this normal in new jersey?

i'm really excited to watch more and more house. but i gotta focus on school work and not...die. sorry this was weirdly written, i'm not a true house head yet, i just wanted to give out my first impressions. see ya!

gotta preface this by saying i'm not a yumejoshi, self shipper, oc x canon, etc etc. I'm just around those communites because i have a lot of friends who do that stuff. ok? cool.

i'm not one to hold the belief that some people have of "ugh, normies got into geek stuff in 2020 and now it's ruined!" because i think it removes the real reality that these issues have been a thing for a while. let's not forget that kinnie drama was a very big thing for a long, long time in certain circles. what i do believe though is that the culture has changed a bit due to influencer culture permiating fucking everything. when i say influencer culture, i don't mean like actual influencers with 100k followers or whatever. what i mean is that some person can have like...1k followers on twitter and be like "i ship myself with mika kagehira from enstars" and all of a sudden people will treat this person like they have higher authority over others as a fan because of follower count.

the only reason why people contribute this change to nerdy things becoming popular to normies is because the general influencer boom has consumed culture so much that it became noise. people are more concerned with stats and engagement with being a fan rather than just being a fan. suddenly people think some 3k account on twitter is some weird snob or that people who have a lot of merchendise and commissions is some rich classist asshole and not a person with a job and some savings.

speaking of art, the way some people talk about commissions in regards to yume is really repugnant. i don't care if i'm falling for bait, why do i see so much drama about commissions and the basis of a lot of it stems from people just...not understanding that art is a want and not a need. for example: it sounds weird to me when people say they only seek out artists from places with a weaker currency because of how cheap it is and not because they truely like the artist. these people won't tip either, they'll just pay $10 on art that they would've paid $60 USD if it was an American artist. these people are acting like businesses who offshore for financial reasons and not individuals short changing independent artists out of a bespoke piece. that's just my feelings on it anyways. this isn't even mentioning how people treat artists in general. "oh, this artist had requests open and i gave them my yume ship and they didn't draw it. i think they hate me personally." sometimes it's not that deep, please don't take personal offense to that.

i don't like that so much of people's self-worth is tied to yume stuff. it makes me sad that people center their self worth on whether or not people care about their self-ship's dynamic or if they're the number one yume, or even the character themselves. i remember i was talking about a character in the context of how they were being potrayed in songs by their songwriter and how i don't think the songwriter is doing the character justice. i'm not even dissing the character. tell me why i got vagued by someone about how people shouldn't talk bad about characters and songs that mean a lot to people and to keep bad thoughts to themselves? i later got blocked by this person entirely. i'd understand if I was being overly negative about the character, i block people for hating my faves all the time. i'm just confused that critiquing the production behind your fave gets that reaction.

i do wish this yume stuff gets tame soon because i do like aspects of the community from an outsider looking in. i like oshikatsu. i like people getting creative with certain worlds and being immersed in it, i like that the community spends money on artists. i just wish some things would change.

hello! this is a bit scrappy but i wanted to make a log of sorts for my site. nothing too personal i wanna say because...vunerable, but idk i wanna ramble on sometimes.

this site has been really fun to code so far. it's frustrating for sure (fuck you iframes) but it's very nice that i can make this site truely mine, y'know? i liked making carrds but aparently those aren't in anymore which is like...what da hell. rentry looks ugly with ads and strawpage...look i have a strawpage but it's barebones. i think it can look great if you really try but i only have it as a ask box and nothing more.

i hope this site will do me some good. i like posting on twitter, but i think people are very weird on there sometimes. i've been using it less lately, mostly because i have college, but also because i kinda lost interest with engaging with some communities because of how mean people can get. i'm mostly in hypmic fandom, which is pretty ok for the most part, but i can't lie and say it didn't leave me exhausted. it's no one's fault in particular but sometimes it's just like...man...some of these people are getting on my nervers, good god... like i can't be bothered to care. so i've been doing my own thing instead, which has been better for me to be honest. i do like fandom, but sometimes it gets tiring.

other than my personal gripes with online community, i do wanna try to talk about what i'm doing more. since i started college in 2023, i have been doing more stuff that makes me happy. the backhalf of 2022 and a lot of 2023 was rough for me for a lot of reasons i won't get into, so i made a point to make sure that i only do things with my best interest in mind. it's hard to get out there and do things sometimes, especially since i don't have the means to do the things i truely want, but i can't lie, 2025 has been pretty decent to me. i made really good friends that actually care for me, i'm getting only A's and B's in my classes, i'm generally happier now than i was three years ago.

I want to share more of myself and more of what makes me happy on here. i wanna talk about my friends and what interests me and speak my mind about whatever without worry. that's the purpose of this. i hope that these logs are at least interesting to those who care. see ya!

the following is just for a test to see if the formatting works. ok?

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.